Talking to Myself and Others Not Present

I miss you, really. I do, and I'd rather not. I thought I wouldn't. its hard to see you and not feel guilty and consider regretting this whole thing.
But if I go back now and reverse it all, I know we'll be in the same place in another month.

Boyfriends make no sense. I'm not one of those emo chicks, "he torn my soul out. fuck men!"
nah. Its really my bad. Really, if I was just with whom ever I wanted at the moment, and they didn't have to love me or want me to be with them extendedly, and be together for a year, two months and four days. And get all serious about it. Love is love and I can't change it, and I can't pick who I love. But I can pick who I am with. And I'm not happy! I'm not. it's not all his fault, but I need to try to be happy by myself. He can't do it for me. Its too complicated.

I shouldn't be holding hands driving home! I shouldn't talk to his little brother about the summer. I shouldn't smile at him so often, even if we're friends. I need a week to not want you. I'm gonna see you tomorrow, and you'll touch my hair by accident, I know it. And I'll touch your elbow and we'll end up back to where we started.
Don't cheat, it's not cool. You'll be not really drunk but drunk enough to be stumbly. And he'll tell you its not that big of a deal. But he's wrong. It is. So don't.
Love is love.