This Is Whats Up

So I started two new blogs, one about fencing and one about music and more complaining.
Hope you take a look.

Not sure where I'm at with my English liaison, and yes that is what I'm calling it. Its getting very complicated because our families are friends and I don't think his parents want us to be together because a) they want him to stay in school over in England, b) we'll be apart, c) they don't want everything to be as awkward as fuck. Parents feel awkward so easily! Sure, everyone will know what's going on, but its something to laugh about and mostly ignore.

Anyway, I'm trying to leave it alone until he comes back (in about a week) for the rest of the summer. I don't want to push things and there won't be any huge relationship developments over our internet conversations. So when he's back we'll see how we both feel and what the hell to do about all this.

I'll be a little mad if he comes back and all of a sudden decides he's not interested - I'm missing some prime rebounding time after breaking up with my boyfriend. I could be out having a crazy time since I'm newly single but I'm not. So I've already invested something into this, which is my own fault (also, boys like to allocate blame, especially away from themselves. Rather peeving!) but still.

Ex is being bitter. I feel badly. Sometimes I consider regretting it, but I'm really trying to control my feelings lately and I'm doing a decent job of it so far. I can't say I don't feel cruelly happy when I see on facebook that he went scouting for girls with one of his friends (whom I hate) and got nothing.

I've become okay with being a facebook stalker. I've read Ex's comments (sorry hun) and he's been talking to this girl. Which is annoying, but she's a sophomore whom I don't know. On the one hand I want him to be happy and move on, and at the same time, after all he's done to hurt me, I don't mind seeing that he's struggling too.

I'll have you remember about the ring. In the mail. Remember? If you didn't read that, it's some posts back. Lots of bolded words. Go take a gander.


Anyway, about to start shopping and packing for my trip to South Carolina. Going with English Liaison's younger sister, whom I love so much. She's hilarious. Talks like she's 30 but she's in the 6th grade. Also took on this job teaching two kids how to fence. Really excited for that.

I also decorated my wall with lots of my photos. I think it looks good. I feel very artsy.

I've been reading a lot of atheist blogs, take a look at my blog roll for them. Really good reads. Deep Thoughts is probably my favorite. I admire people who come from Christian backgrounds, but search within themselves later in life and find meaning for themselves. More power to you, never stop asking.

A quote I read in a comment to something written on one of these blogs, sorry I don't remember who said it, I think he was quoting too, nor do I recall the exact words,

loss of religion = opportunity for human progress.


Peace.