Wooooow I'm Super Cool

No really.

Listening to Dashboard Confessional, being a closet-emo. Intentionally depressing myself. What is wrong with that?

Life is the strangest thing. You find something to hope for. Something you can get excited about, something to remind you that there might be more to all of this than thesis papers, half-assed photo collages, sepia-toned points of view, algae blooms, mediocre sex, mediocre love, crappy boring people that don't mind that they're full of crap and boring, money, and day old lemonade you mixed yourself in a drunken stupor. You consider and reason, and think it all up. You make yourself some day dreams to hold out for this thing to come around and live up to all your expectations. And once you do that everything drops fucking dead. It never works out the way you put in your head. Sometimes it turns out alright, but once you make it beautiful and perfect, make its image in the back of your mind and let yourself drift asleep because you can count on something, well then you've jinxed it by that point.

If only I could say half the things I mean, my life would be closer to the way I'm thinking it should be.

Peace. Don't count on it, and don't disappoint yourself. Hold it close, but don't paint it's picture in your brain, just hold it while it's still faceless, so you can love the face it shows to you when it actually happens the right way.